Amy Glass has written the post every blogger dreams about: It’s sensational. It’s going viral, over and over. It’s sparking conversation and a plethora of public response.
Her recent post, “I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry,” is honestly, great blogging work.
It’s simple, well-worded, straight to the heart, opinionated, and peppered with extremely quotable inflammatory sentences.
Was it hard for me to read? Yes.
It made me want to argue, and argue loud and hard.
But the truth is, Amy is a real woman. And the truth is, there are lots of real women who feel similarly.
If we’re honest, how many of us who have chosen the “role” of mother and wife over what Amy calls a “real job,” haven’t felt for even a moment just a little like we’re disappearing at home?
Haven’t wondered, even just in a moment of weakness, if we threw away all we could have been?
There probably aren’t many stay at home moms who haven’t sat uncomfortably at a dinner party with an ever-so-tiny part of them feeling judged, and wishing they had a more interesting response to the “What Do You Do?” question.
Who haven’t felt just a tiny bit like a loser at a party full of confident-looking power- career women.
And you know what else is real?
The women (like my mother) who work full time at jobs they love, and wake up sometimes wondering if they’re disappearing from their children’s lives.
And feel, just for a moment of weakness, like they might be throwing away all they could have been as a mom and homemaker.
Who have sat uncomfortably at a dinner party with a tiny part of them feeling judged, and wishing they had a more “earth-mother” nurturing answer to the “What Do You Do?” question, or felt just a tiny bit like a loser at a party full of happy- looking super-mommies.
That’s real, too.
We’re real women. Amy Glass is a real woman. I’m a real woman.
Sure, she might have missed the point about “accomplishments”…..
She might have forgotten, for a moment, that real women are amazing.
We’re amazing because our bodies can bring life into the world and nurture and feed it.
We’re amazing because we have incredible leadership abilities, and incredible innovative ideas.
We’re amazing because we see things men don’t see.
We’re amazing because we are, in any moment, soft AND tough.
We’re amazing because we’re needed.
Her point, I think, is maybe deeper than she even let on.
Her point is that she is valuable.
That her work is valuable.
And she’s right. She IS. It IS.
And, of course she’s wrong, too.
Of course she’s wrong, because homemaking IS real work. It is valuable.
She doesn’t get it. Wives and mommies are real women, too. Valuable women.
And she might never get it. To be honest, I might never get her, either.
The truth is, it’s a rare and beautiful moment when we AREN’T bewildered by the choices of people different from us.
(And sometimes even by our own choices…. How many seasons of our lives have us looking back, laughing at what we, ourselves, used to think? To not get? )
We don’t very often understand the minds of the “other side.” Conservatives don’t get Liberals. Yankees don’t get Rednecks. British people don’t get Americans. Daughters-in-law don’t get their mothers-in-law.
Homemaking women don’t get Career women, and vice versa.
But that doesn’t, and can’t ever, change that they are women. REAL women.
So Amy, no matter how much you want to vomit, and no matter how many women you’ve offended with your harshness, I can tell you “Good Job.” Good job writing an amazingly successful blog post. And good job being real.
You are a real woman.
And I am, too.