You may know I’ve been trying to work on a post about the “Power of Imitation” in parenting.
Trying, and trying….and trying.
But the longer I sat here trying to write that post…. to process the power of what I, myself, am learning, the more clear it became that I wasn’t going to write it.
It feels increasingly like I may not be able to write it, in fact. Or, perhaps, to write any other “How To Parent” posts ever again (despite my great desire and best intention to do so).
Because, quite simply, I don’t suppose I really know how to parent. I am learning how, yes. With every day of BEING a parent, I am learning how to parent.
But it seems utterly pretentious and inauthentic for me to attempt to dole out bite-size expert parenting tips when I am, myself, in the deepest of the trenches, the very early stages of the journey… learning something brand new every. single. day.
Every day at least I have moments as a parent where I think, “Aha! I learned this. I want to write a post about that! It could make a huge difference for another parent!”
Perhaps it is my idealistic personality type, or maybe just a good dose of humility, but despite the frequency of those moments, I am finding it impossible to write a single post.
Every one of the 20+ drafts I’ve begun has ended abruptly, drifted off, or fallen short…. Revealed, in effect, that whatever ideal it was that sparked me to write, it was not something that can be” summed up and taught”. At least not by me. At least not right now.
It would, I think, be inauthentic for me to write anything but the very process of learning itself. To chronicle the journey, and simply invite you along.
Because I do not have answers. I have convictions. And mistakes, and revelations, and any number of thoughts detailing the human condition of parenthood. And these things are probably the most useful things I have to share anyway.
If we’re honest, this blog was never a place for expert parenting tips. It has already been about my rambling, learning, yearning journey .
I think I just did not really know that.
But now I do. Now I know that, really, life is all about learning, and parenting is no different. Now I know there really is no parenting tip, script, or tidbit that fits any family’s every day or every family’s any day. Now I see that my focus on “arriving” at perfect parenting is a fool’s errand that robbed me of the perfect parenting truth of just learning. Learning to see new things, and see old things in new ways, and old ways with new eyes.
And, incidentally, that’s probably the most powerful “Lesson on Imitation” there is- Learn how to be a lifelong learner so your little ones can watch and see that learning is life.
Hey babies, if you’re going to learn from me, just learn to keep learning. Just see that we will never know it all, and we wouldn’t want to anyway.
So for me, this feels a bit like a new direction. A direction where I let myself off the hook a little bit. Where I say, hey, how about we let go of trying to HAVE parenting gems to share, and just BE A PARENT learning together. And to be honest, this sounds like a whole lot more fun.
So, consider this your invitation: Wanna come talk with me about what its actually like to guide these little people who so profoundly stretch, grow, amaze, delight, exhaust and humble us?
Yeah? Cool. Me too.
Let’s get to it.